Moms, Daughters & Friendship

7th grade was my favorite year of school - all because I had the best group of friends that year. My family moved several times while I was growing up - so most of my friendships were short-term, but some of my best memories are of my friends from 7th grade.

The right friends can help a young girl excel and mature into the woman God wants her to be and the wrong friends can bring her down, ruin her family relationships and lead to a lifetime of hurt and bad choices.

As a mother of 3 girls - I want to encourage my daughters to not only choose good friends, but also know how to be a good friend.

The upcoming book, A Girl's Guide to Best Friends and Mean Girls by Dannah Gresh and Suzy Weibel and the companion guide Talking with your Daughter about Best Friends and Mean Girls are wonderful resources for moms and daughters to have open communication about friendship.

A Girl's Guide to Best Friends and Mean Girls is the next book in the Secret Keeper Girl Series and is an easy, fun read designed for girls ages 8-12. It's followed by a Bible study that is interactive, fun and perfect for personal or small group use. I especially liked how the book used examples from the life of Jesus when explaining how to deal with different friendship encounters, pointing to Jesus as the ultimate example for every area of life.
 However, I do wish the gospel was more clearly explained. Pointing girls to the facts that we are all sinners and are saved by the grace of God through Jesus Christ has to be the foundational relationship for understanding how to approach any other relationships.

Talking with Daughter about Best Friends and Mean Girls is a book designed for moms who want to be intentional in talking with their daughters about friendships.This mom companion guide, with 8 fun dates, is full of specifics for moms who are unsure of  how/need a creative way to start the conversation. Although I can have candid conversations about anything with my girls without creating a whole event around it, I know lots of moms who would appreciate these suggestions on creating opportunities to get the point across.
Whether you use the date suggestions or not, make sure to take advantage of any opportunity to build trust and have open communication with your daughters about being a friend like Jesus.

Image credit: Amazon.com

*Special thanks to Harvest House Publishers for allowing me to review these books through Netgalley.com

Big love, small packages

Her children rise up and call her blessed... Proverbs 31:28 (ESV)

After reading Gloria Furman's book Glimpses of Grace (see my review here), I'm trying to be more intentional about seeing God's grace in my daily life and making the most of every opportunity to exalt the gospel in my home.

One area I'm working on is paying attention to the details of my kids' lives. When you're home all day every day with your kids, sometimes it's easy to assume, ignore, or even miss those incredible moments of love and appreciation they show and then feel unloved and under-appreciated when you have a bad day. Sometimes, big love comes in small packages. So this all happened in one day:

My pre-teen daughter tells me about the boy she likes.

My creative 7 year old sent me on a treasure hunt to find secret messages- a tiny slip of paper that said "I love you"

My 6 year old grabbed my face with his chubby little hands just to look into my eyes.

My 3 year old picked the fuzzies off her wool blanket and brought them to me, "I have fuzzy for you, Mommy!"

Thank you Lord for my children that love, trust, and honor me - what a blessing they are and worth investing my time in. Help me remember that, especially when we're having a rough day.

Five Minute Friday: Rhythm

Five Minute Friday with Lisa-Jo Baker and hundreds of others. We write for five minutes. All on the same prompt. No extreme editing. No worrying about perfect grammar, font, or punctuation.Unscripted. Unedited. Real.

GO

The rhythm of our life right now is hurry up and wait...

My kids despise this idea, but as I recall, so did I as a child -
The kids are all ready for church, but mom is still doing her make-up.
They want a snack, but we just had lunch 20 minutes ago.
Little one has to go potty, but there are 10 ladies already in line at the ballgame.

Those moments seem like an eternity for the kids. For me, sometimes waiting on God feels like forever. Waiting for a new job for my husband. Waiting for a the right place to live. Waiting for...

Praise God, He provides a new rhythm when I get ants in my pants...Find peace in Me, my child, wait for Me, it will be worth it!

STOP

Glimpses of Grace

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I'm a homemaker who wants to honor God by loving my husband and children and managing my home well. There is a wealth of information and products out there that promise to help me do just that. If you are anything like me, you probably have several Pinterest boards full of ideas or have read a dozen books and magazines to get a plan together.

My problem is I never stick with my plan for very long! Why? Because, as Gloria Furman shows in her book, Glimpses of Grace, my real problem is not my plan, but how I view my life in light of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

In Part 1, Gloria explains our foundation in the mundane. The gospel is clearly spelled out, not in, as she says, "smurf" or "Christianese", but the basic truths are laid out: the fall of man, the substitutionary death of Christ, and our need to respond in repentance and faith.

Gloria also helps us understand some key ideas to really grasp the grace that is offered to us:
The Gift of God is God himself not our stuff.

God's grace in the mundane is experienced in living daily life to reflect His glory.

Our relationship with God is not just during a quiet time, it includes all of our life.

Salvation is marvelous and exciting, not boring!

Part 2 is all about experiencing the miraculous in the mundane:

This is not the "believe and achieve" or "reach for the stars " kind of fluff that I think most moms are tired of hearing. Gloria challenges us to take a look at life through the lens of the gospel - every attitude, responsibility, and motive. Our friendships, contentment, organization - all have to be rooted in the gospel of Jesus to be honoring to God. Gloria really addresses our heart/sin issues, not just the surface issues. She does so by explaining deep theological truths - but don't worry, she's a good mom and has cut those meaty truths into bite-size, easy-to-digest pieces seasoned with personal examples.

Warning: this book is for serious homemakers only! Don't pick up this book unless you're ready to have your worldview challenged. The point is not to get you to change your actions, but to change your way of thinking. Glimpses of Grace will stretch you in how you view your everyday in light of the gospel of Christ. Thank you, Gloria, for reminding me of God's grace in my daily life as a homemaker!

*Special thanks to Crossway for providing this book for review through Netgalley.com 

For more of Gloria, check her out at Domestic Kingdom 

52 Things Husbands Need From Their Wives

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With 14 years of hard work invested, praise the Lord, my husband and I have a great marriage. However, I can always use some encouragement of specific ways I can love my man better. In his book, 52 Things Husbands Need From Their Wives, Jay Payleitner, gives women some candid and straightforward ways to be the wife their husband needs.

In the introduction, Jay introduces himself as a new friend and he seems to know how to talk to women by building a relationship with the reader right off the bat. He continues to build trust as he starts with easy topics and saves the harder ones for last. But by the end, he's gained the full trust of the reader, so he can address those difficult topics with honesty without losing the reader.

Each chapter is very short, to the point and very practical. Although some chapters seem repetitive or should be combined, I see the point of keeping them short and maybe we needed to hear that twice. Some of the chapters that were helpful and encouraging to me were:
"To Be Careful about Scheduling Expectations"

"To Give Him Time to Decompress after Work"

"To Be Flattered When You're on His Mind"

"To Appoint Him as Project Co-Manager"

"To Realize that His Anger is Not Really Directed at You"

"To Applaud His Tenacious Focus on the Task at Hand"

I also like the takeaway and quote/scripture at the end of each chapter. Without "preaching" at you, Jay uses Scripture and biblical thinking to back up his points. This book has a very friendly and encouraging tone. I would recommend this book to newly wed wives and wives that are struggling in their marriages because understanding these things about your husband may prevent and/or explain much of the conflict that occurs in marriage.

*Special thanks to Harvest House Publishers for providing this book for review through Netgalley.com 

There's a Green Plastic Monkey in my Purse

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Motherhood is full of surprises! Although you never expect to hear yourself say, "There's a Green Plastic Monkey in My Purse" author Jessie Clemence shows in her book that we should be prepared for the kind of mother we want to be for when those unexpected things happen.

Clemence takes topics that every mom struggles with, like being happy, smart, productive and organized and gives insightful, practical and biblical advice on being the best mom you can be in those areas.

This book is not an in depth study of any particular area, but covers broad topics and through humor, she shares thought-provoking ideas for improving in several areas of motherhood.

Clemence uses Scripture well and for those unfamiliar with it she explains the story within the whole context of the biblical story line.

This is a great book to share with non-Christian moms because every mom deals with these issues. In a fun and encouraging way, Clemence presents faith and hope in Christ as the solution to our struggles in motherhood.

What's In Your Purse?

This is what I shared at our Mother/Daughter Banquet last night:

 

Theme: What’s in your purse? Looking at the inside instead of the outside

 

The stage of life you are in determines a lot about what you carry in your purse:

A Teen’s purse - comb, lipgloss, mirror, cell phone, bubble gum

A Mom’s purse - diapers, wet wipes, crackers, small toys, hand sanitizer

A Grandma’s purse - hankie/kleenex, candy, reading glasses, lipstick

But for the Christian woman, no matter what stage of life you’re in, what’s in your heart should remain the same: Let’s look at Galatians 5:16-26 (ESV) to see what should and shouldn't be in our hearts:

¹⁶ But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. ¹⁷ For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. ¹⁸ But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

It’s easy to look great on the outside, but still be a mess on the inside – and nobody knows. Have you ever been searching for “that thing” on the bottom of your purse and you have to dig to find it? It requires focus to find “that thing”. It also takes focus to follow the Spirit and not the flesh, as v. 16-18 points out to us. How do we stay focused on following the Spirit? We “dig in” to Bible study, prayer, and Christian fellowship. Those things will help us stay focused on walking in the Spirit.

 

¹⁹ Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, ²⁰ idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, ²¹ envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 

 

Who likes to clean out their purse? All the gum wrappers and Kleenex that get shoved in the bottom make it hard to find what we’re looking for. Sometimes cleaning out the purse is needed, even if it’s not very fun. V. 19-21 tell us clearly what not to carry – the works of the flesh. It’s easy to skip over these because we don’t want to be convicted or our pride keeps us from seeing we struggle with any of these issues – but our flesh/old self is constantly at war with the Spirit in us, so we need to check our heart and repent or “clean out” when and where we fail. 

²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

²⁵ If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. ²⁶ Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

 

Isn’t it fun to get a new purse? The strap’s not broken and the bottom of the bag is not all sticky or stained. You check out all the pockets and pick things out of the old purse to put in the new one. When we repent of our sin and trust in Christ as our Savior, the Bible says we are a new creation, we get a new heart. And what should we put in this new heart? V. 22-23 tells us what to carry – the Fruit of the Spirit. You are probably familiar with this Fruit, but these things don’t come naturally to us, because of our struggle with the flesh, they require practice and desire – as v. 24 says when we are in Christ, we have killed fleshly desires. Then, we must replace them with Spirit desires/fruit. When we are focused on growing the Fruit of the Spirit in our lives thru Bible study, prayer and fellowship – then v. 26 will be true of us – we will not be conceited, provoking or envying but we can truly encourage each other in love, kindness, and gentleness and be the body of Christ as He desires us to be.