6.2 What's Hiding Under the other bed?

How do you clean the room of an artist and a preteen? One pile at a time!

Step 1: The Demise of the Dollhouse - For my 16th birthday my grandparents gave me one of those beautiful handmade dollhouses you see on the top shelf at Hobby Lobby. They had actually made one for me when I was like 2 or 3, but that was the very first one they made, spent so many hours on it, my grandma just couldn't give it up (this is the grandma I inherited my packrat skills from). Anyway, my beautiful purple dollhouse has survived cousins, nieces, daughters and 7 moves - my daughters loved it to pieces, literally. The poor thing looked like an old abandoned mansion you hear ghost stories about. So one afternoon, I took a deep breath of bravery and went into the girls room with a trash bag and we tore apart the dollhouse and threw it away. I hated it and cried, but it needed to be done. Now we have a large space to add a bookshelf with containers filled with Legos, Barbies and Polly Pockets so that my 7 yr. old has her own space in the room to play with her things instead of shoving them under the bed.

Step 2: The Preteen Desk - my almost 12 yr. old has a desk with stuff piled high on top. Why? Because the drawers are filled with more stuff. (She's kind of a packrat like me.) So I used the 3 box rule and dumped everything out of the desk and we sorted together - keep, donate/sell, trash. I did it with her to help her make wise choices ("Do you really need that?") and to stay on task ("We are going to finish this pile before you paint your nails with that favorite polish you thought you lost!") Ahhh, much better - now she can sit in the chair at the desk and paint her nails on a clear space!

There's alot more to tackle here (like the closet, yikes!) but those 2 steps were huge in creating a clean, peaceful space for my girls to enjoy their room!

Freeing Tangled Hearts

Image credit: Amazon.com

"Only by taking our eyes off of ourselves and focusing on God can our tangled hearts truly be freed"

Freeing Tangled Hearts by Delores Kimball has incredible insights and wisdom for every woman I know! I didn't even get through the introduction before I pulled out my pen and started underlining. There are so many wonderful things to remember, quotes to post on my bathroom mirror and wisely used Scripture I need to memorize.

Kimball understands that the hearts and minds of women are stressed out, overwhelmed and confused, or as she puts it, "tangled". But instead of platitudes and cliches that we've all heard before, she is very straight forward about the issues women face.

Kimball challenges readers to examine their faith and then realize that the Christian life is a battle. She then tackles the negative emotions of doubt, guilt, anger, bitterness and envy one by one. Showing how these emotions can control us, she proves that freedom from them can't come from within, but only from the Holy Spirit. Every point she makes is backed up with Scripture. It is not awkwardly inserted or taken out of context, but is beautifully woven into her writing.

I love how she uses logic to disprove our emotionally based thinking and adamantly promotes living based on the truth of God's Word. As I read this book, I kept thinking how much I could have benefited as a teenager to learn to think based on truth and not  my feelings. I'm so thankful I now have this resource to share with my own daughters as they grow into young women who need to learn to navigate their emotions. I've already shared insights from this book with my oldest daughter, friends, and Bible Study groups. This is a book I will refer to and recommend often!

*A free study guide for the book is available at www.freeingtangledhearts.com

*Many thanks to Cross Focused Reviews  for providing this book in exchange for my honest review.

Communicating with Love

Human relationships are based on communication. In order to love someone well, you have to communicate well. Verbal and nonverbal interactions can build up and strengthen a relationship or tear it to pieces. So whether it’s your spouse, child, friend or neighbor, use these five communicating principles to show love and respect to the relationships in your life:

1.     Overlook what you can when you can. Sometimes we just have to drop the cookie, let it go, get over it and move on. It will spare us many unnecessary arguments.

2.     Build up, don’t tear down. Nagging never works and whining is childish. Apply the golden rule: speak to others how you want them to speak to you, with kind and encouraging words. (And like my mom always said: If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.)

3.     Be quick to listen – concentrate on what the other person is saying (don’t just formulate your rebuttal while they are talking), ask clarifying questions to show you are listening and to make sure you understand, follow-up with a reflective statement ("So what you are saying is…") and wait to respond (don’t interrupt).

     4.     Consider time and setting to address conflict – the best time to discuss an issue   is not when the other person is tired, upset, or preoccupied; make sure you have plenty of time to finish the discussion, that there are no distractions and do it face to face. In other words, schedule your fight!

     5. Use wise words – go into a discussion prepared – take notes on what you want   to say (topics, feelings, solutions), be clear and gracious, anticipate their reactions and use “I statements” ("I feel that…" NOT "you always…").

May your relationships be filled with love and grace as you learn to communicate with love!

*Principles learned from Peacemaking for Families by Ken Sande

6.1 What's Hiding Under the bed?

Cleaning the Kids' Rooms

In case you were wondering, I have not given up on my home organizing goals, I've just been working instead of writing, so here's what we are accomplishing:

Every good organizer will tell you when you go to clean a room start with 3 boxes: 1. Trash it 2. Give it and 3. Keep it. So we gathered our boxes and headed to the kids' rooms. I don't tell my kids "Go clean your room!" because I know that means it will all just get shoved under the bed or in the closet. Instead we turn on some music and dig in together. It becomes a bonding time for us and I know they are actually getting the job done.

1. Little man and Baby girl
Step 1: Letting go of the rocker - My husband bought me that rocking chair when I was pregnant with our oldest 13 years ago. Every time I look at it, so many memories come to mind - sleepless nights with a fussy baby, nursing at all hours of the day and night, reading stories and singing songs. I think that's what I did most in that chair, was rock and sing. But it's time to let go and move on. We don't use the chair anymore, baby girl is almost 3 now. It just takes up space and collects laundry. I still have all my memories, so it's ok to move the chair out to the yard sale pile. Right?!

Step 2: Now that there is a little more room, I moved the little toy self out of the closet, so those two can put their toys on it. Imagine that, what a novel idea?! Now the bottom of the closet is clear except for 2 small crates, they each have one for their shoes.

Step 3: Next, we clear off their dressers of any misc. items. This is where the boxes come in handy because we can get rid of most of the little things that collect on the dressers. Then quickly go thru the drawers and pull out anything that doesn't fit, bag it up for yard sale/donate pile and dust. I also fix their curtain rods and cut up a flat sheet for new curtains.

Step 4: Finally, in this room we clean the floor. You would think this a quick thing, but Baby girl pulls fuzzies off her favorite blanket and they were having a convention under her bed. Then I shake out the rug, which apparently was long overdue because a small sandbox formed in the middle of the floor. Ah, thankfully the sweeping is over!

Now on to the big girls' room, but we will save that for another post!

Facebook Addiction?

Do you have a Facebook addiction? In his book "Will You Be My Facebook Friend", Tim Chester challenges his readers to view their use of Facebook and other social media in light of the gospel of Jesus Christ. This quick read will certainly cause you think seriously about your motives and time investment in social media.

However, I have a couple of concerns. First, Chester does mention that Facebook is a blessing to some people, but he only spends two and a half pages on the benefits and the rest of the book on the dangers of it. I feel this is an unbalanced assessment of social networking. But, I understand this may not be the main point of the book.

My other concern is that the tone of the book may not effectively communicate the purpose of the book. It comes across as a lecturing parent. If the target audience is teenagers and young adults who lack self-control in the use of social media, insulting them by calling them "nerdy students" (42) may turn them off from the amazing message of the gospel that can set them free of their social media addiction.

Image credit: Amazon.com

* Disclosure: I received this book free from Cross Focused Reviews  in exchange for my honest review.

Hope for the Weary Mom

Finally! A book for moms that is funny, relate-able, AND points women to the only true source of hope - Christ!! Mom bloggers turned authors - Thacker and McGlothlin - have made the difficult crossover successfully. Turning blog posts into a book with well written chapters, they give personal examples of how their struggles as moms are real and the only real source of strength and hope for any tired, worn-out mom is Jesus Christ.
I've read funny books that point to self as the answer. I've read Christ-centered books that are finger-pointing or unrealistic. It's hard to find a well-written book that is entertaining, encouraging and Christ-centered for moms who want to be real in their parenting and faith. This book is all that - I loved "Hope for the Weary Mom: Where God Meets You in Your Mess".

Image credit: Amazon.com

5. Save a little, share a lot

So, when I went to put away the "Save for sister" extra winter-wear, I was met with this huge monster of "Way too many hand-me-downs". Don't get me wrong - I am so thankful for friends and family who have over the years shared clothes with us when their kids have out-grown them. We have been very blessed!! In my goal to organize, however, I feel the need to share the love. So here is how I plan to tame this wild pile:

1. Reduce: Most of this pile is stuff that my oldest has out-grown that I'm saving for the other 2 girls. I'm going to guess however, that 2 tubs and 4 bags of girl's size 10-12 is probably more than one little girl can wear...ever. So each size only gets 2 tubs - one for winter clothes, one for spring/summer. Everything that doesn't fit in the tubs goes in the garage sale/donation pile.

2. Reuse (only what they will wear): I think I could fill several tubs with jeans, but my girls don't even like to wear them! So I will only keep 1-2 pair of nice jeans per size and get rid of the rest (hard choices!). I really have to think about what kinds of clothes my kids like wearing before I put them in the tub. Just because it's cute, doesn't mean it will get worn in this house - sorry sweaters, turtlenecks, and itchy material - you're out!

3. Recycle: I hate throwing away useful things - so I'll try to be creative here - ripped or torn clothes, you have 3 options:
A. mending pile - only if it will really be worn again
B. Rag pile - my hubby likes to use old t-shirts and such as rags when working in the garage
C. Craft pile - ripped jeans can be turned into all sorts of cute art projects. (I know I can only keep what will fit in the allotted craft space though).

4. Baby steps - obviously this task will be overwhelming if I try to attempt it all in one sitting - so, my goal will be to sort through one size at a time or spend 1 hour sorting, whatever comes first. I'll keep you updated on my progress!